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CATS
CATS
Portrayed by
Talkany Big Robot
{{{AltCasting}}}
Episode count
13
Name
CATS
Profession
Puppet leader of the Network

CATS is a main character of the series. He is the puppet leader of the Network who antagonizes Master Chief throughout his early adventures. CATS is eventually betrayed and killed by his leader, the King. However, 12 years later, CATS was revealed to be an AI who was recruited by Cortana to assist in the final showdown against the King. CATS is one of the only survivors of the series.

HistoryEdit

Before the seriesEdit

In 1998, CATS attacked the military base where Master Chief and the Arbiter worked, which became their first conflict. They stopped him, but the Arbiter was, ironically, invited to join CATS's group, the Network, by its leader, the King. ("Master Chief: The Movie") Later, when Master Chief began time travelling, he briefly appeared before CATS and Jack Thompson, who were on the lookout for him. ("Master Chief Sucks at Time Travel") Shortly after the series began, the King instructed CATS to delay Super Smash Bros. Brawl to push Master Chief towards them. ("Master Chief: The Secret Origin of the King")

Season 1 (2007-2008)Edit

CATS claims responsibility for Super Smash Bros. Brawl's delays, which angers Master Chief. ("Master Chief Sucks at Ordering McDonalds") ("Master Chief Sucks at Ordering at Restaurants") He becomes Master Chief's archenemy, and they have a large scale battle that ends when Master Chief seemingly defeats CATS by placing his picture in the recycle bin. ("Master Chief Sucks at Ordering Finales") However, CATS survived, and teamed up with fellow Network member L. Ron Hubbard. ("Master Chief vs Scientology") He and Hubbard later appear to Master Chief to inform him that CATS has his own leader from whom he takes orders. ("Master Chief Sucks at Making Videos") Master Chief and the Arbiter organize an attack against CATS, Hubbard, and Jack Thompson. At the climax of Master Chief and CATS's duel, however, his true leader, the King, appears and shoots him to death for outliving his usefulness. ("Master Chief: The Finale")

Season 3 (2020)Edit

After the King reveals his true intentions, Cortana explains that she met someone in the AI database with a grudge against the King who can help them, but they have to trust her, at which point CATS revealed himself and said his trademark phrase, "All your base are belong to us." ("Master Chief Sucks at Plot Twists") CATS then leads Master Chief and Cortana to the Quantum Flux Teleporter, a device the King constructed to find the Voice. After CATS opens the teleporter, Master Chief goes through, and Cortana is fatally damaged when the King closes the teleporter on her. CATS is left behind. At the end of the series, CATS discusses Master Chief's sacrifice with the Arbiter and asks if he'd like to play Super Smash Bros. or get McDonalds, but the Arbiter declines. ("Master Chief Sucks at Everything")

TriviaEdit

  • CATS is apparently nothing more than an image file, as Master Chief simply throws him in the recycle bin. ("Master Chief Sucks at Ordering Finales")
  • The meaning behind the acronym "CATS" was supposed to be explained in "Master Chief: The Movie," but the idea was dropped. CATS references this aborted thread when he tries to find an explanation for his name and can't come up with one.
The Network
Former members
The Arbiter
Deceased members
The KingCortanaJack ThompsonTom CruiseCATSThe Angry Video Game NerdChris HansenBarack ObamaL. Ron HubbardChad WardenJoe Biden
Associated characters and places
The AncientsHillary ClintonJohn McCainSarah PalinThe Ark
Characters in Master Chief Sucks at Ordering
Main
Master ChiefThe KingThe ArbiterCortanaRonald McDonaldCATSHillary Clinton
Recurring
Jack ThompsonAvery JohnsonTom CruiseThe Angry Video Game NerdChris HansenBarack Obama343 Guilty SparkL. Ron HubbardChad WardenBill GatesReggie Fils-AimeOprah WinfreyJoe BidenSteve JobsThe Voice
Minor
Samus AranMarioLinkJohn McCainAnonymousLuigiRidleyGanondorfXenuSarah Palin
Master Chief Sucks at Ordering
Episodes
Season 1MinisodesSeason 2Meet the AncientsSeason 3
Main characters
Master ChiefThe KingThe ArbiterCortanaRonald McDonaldCATSHillary Clinton
Recurring characters
Jack ThompsonAvery JohnsonTom CruiseThe Angry Video Game NerdChris HansenBarack Obama343 Guilty SparkL. Ron HubbardChad WardenBill GatesReggie Fils-AimeOprah WinfreyJoe BidenSteve JobsThe Voice
Other
UltraHyperShadowDigitalPh33rZombamazombaList of charactersTimelineBattlesTropesTrailersPostersBloopers and continuity errorsCountdown

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