March 23, 2009
Run time
Guest starring
James Rolfe as the Angry Video Game Nerd
Chris Hansen as himself
Talkany Strong Man as Sergeant Johnson
Talkany Hyper Male as Guard

"Master Chief Sucks at Computers" is the eighth episode of season 2.


Master Chief, the Arbiter, and Cortana find the Ark's supercomputer. After trying two wrong passwords ("Master Chief Sucks" and "penis"), they successfully access the computer with the password "King," which the Arbiter thinks was too easy. They navigate the file tree until they locate a countdown to the Ark's laser firing: 3 hours 45 minutes. Meanwhile, Sergeant Johnson negotiates with the King: if the King does not willingly surrender, Johnson will invade the Ark and capture him dead or alive. The King refuses to surrender, claiming his work on the Ark is too important. After the credits, Hillary Clinton kills one of the King's own guards on board the Ark while trying to access a restricted area for unknown reasons.


Master Chief Sucks at Computers04:34

Master Chief Sucks at Computers



  • The King has several files of interest on his desktop, including "Spartan project" and "Master Chief" (references to Master Chief and the project that created him), "Girls" (a reference to the movie version of Watchmen, in which Adrian Veidt has a folder called "Boys"), "Crysis" (a computer game notorious for its high system requirements), "uTorrent" (a torrent downloading software), "Pyramid Deliveries" (another Watchmen reference), and "Youtube" (the site on which episodes of the series are released). Other files reference the Ark's time jumping, the Network, recruiting, and fiscal years. Another folder called "Hidden porn folder" can be seen in the "Admin controls" folder.

Bloopers and continuity errors

  • Despite Cortana's claim that the computer is running Windows, none of the interfaces in the episode resemble any Windows operating system.

Cultural references

  • Master Chief bashing Apple Mac computers is a reference to the fact that the Halo series is a Microsoft property.
  • When Chris Hansen claims he "wants" the King, "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen starts playing. This is a reference to a controversial sex scene from Watchmen featuring this music.

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