September 9, 2009
Run time
Guest starring
Talkany Strong Man as Avery Johnson
AT&T Claire as Oprah Winfrey
Talkany Little Man as Steve Jobs
LH Michael as Bill Gates
AT&T Mike as Reggie Fils-Aime
UltraHyperShadow as Sean Bean
Will Smith
Arnold Schwarzenegger
343 Guilty Spark

"Master Chief Sucks at Ordering Burger King" is the first episode of season 3.


44 BC (As revealed in "Master Chief Meets Guilty Spark")
The end of Meet the Ancients is replayed, with the King encountering Ronald McDonald after the Ark launched them to the distant past. Sergeant Avery Johnson was also sent back and refuses to work with the King to stop Ronald. After Johnson leaves, Ronald pulls a gun on the King and is about to shoot him when Johnson returns and tackles him. Johnson and Ronald have a brutal fight that ends when the King shoots Ronald several times. Johnson says that because the King was right about the Ark and the danger Ronald posed, he reluctantly trusts him. After a short discussion, the two notice Ronald's body has disappeared and realize Ronald was still alive and time travelled.

After a deceptive opening in which live-action versions of Master Chief, the Arbiter, and the King (played by Will Smith, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Sean Bean respectively) interact in "Master Chief: The Motion Picture," it is learned that Master Chief and the Arbiter have been sent to the future after the Ark explosion. The Arbiter tells Master Chief about the fully functional Halo ring Microsoft has been constructing (first mentioned in "Meet the Ancients") and that the Ancients are nearby. Oprah Winfrey, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, and Reggie Fils-Aime have a discussion about the Halo ring and how it is nearing completion. Master Chief and the Arbiter decide to sneak aboard a ship and fly to the Halo. Ronald appears after his run-in with the King and realizes the Ancients were never sent to any time period when the Ark exploded and have been laboring away on the ring for eleven years. As Master Chief and the Arbiter sneak past, Master Chief can't resist shooting Steve Jobs in the shoulder and a firefight breaks out. The two heroes narrowly escape the chaos by shooting an explosive barrel. After summing up their situation, Master Chief asks how things could get worse, at which point 343 Guilty Spark introduces himself.


Master Chief Sucks at Ordering Burger King09:10

Master Chief Sucks at Ordering Burger King



Production notes

  • This title was originally going to be used for the season 2 premiere.
  • This episode was uploaded on 09/09/09 and is 09:09 long.
  • Several characters, including Master Chief, the Arbiter, the King, Ronald, and Johnson, are shown in front of backgrounds fitting their location, rather than just using the stock pictures of the characters. This is a first for the series.
  • A countdown was added to the official blog counting down the days and hours until the premiere. This is the first episode to receive this feature.
  • Ronald is a main character starting with this episode. Even though her survival or death is still in question, Cortana is no longer a main character starting with this episode.
  • The shootout scene uses unmoving images of the characters, similar to the fight scenes from season 1. However, special effects, including muzzle flashes, camera panning, and manipulation of the left and right audio channels are used to simulate an actual gunfight.
  • Sean Bean, Will Smith, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all voiced by series creator UltraHyperShadow.
  • 343 Guilty Spark is the first real character to have a scripted human voice. He, too, is voiced by UltraHyperShadow, with an audio filter added to replicate Guilty Spark's voice.

Cultural references

  • The opening scene, in which a movie version of the series features real actors playing the characters, is a parody of the opening to Austin Powers in Goldmember. Additionally, "the King"'s claim that he activated his superweapon 35 minutes ago is a reference to Watchmen.

Episode references

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