October 17, 2007
Run time
Guest starring

"Master Chief Sucks at Ordering at Restaurants" is the second episode of season 1.


Master Chief teaches the viewer about ordering from walk in restaurants. Once again his advice is unhelpful and violent. He claims that McDonalds is a "half-assed shithole" (despite previously praising McDonalds). After describing the different kinds of restaurants and cultural foods, he reiterates the need for a car. He also tells the viewer how to park their car. He also advocates cutting in line and waiting only 46 seconds (48 in Iowa, Montana, and Colorado) for a table. He states that people who order appetizers are "fatasses." He also tells the viewer to give the waiter no tip if they wait more than five minutes for food. Finally, he tells the viewer to kill the manager if one's credit card is not returned immediately. At the end, Master Chief notices Super Smash Bros. Brawl has been delayed and is confronted by CATS, who is responsible.


Master Chief Sucks at Ordering at Restaurants03:12

Master Chief Sucks at Ordering at Restaurants


Production notes

Cultural references

  • The real life October 2007 delay of Super Smash Bros. Brawl is worked into the plot.

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