April 11, 2008
Run time
Guest starring
AT&T Charles as L. Ron Hubbard
Talkany Martian as Xenu
AT&T Mike as Anonymous
Talkany Little Man as Recruiting Scientologist
Talkany Imaginary Man as Prison Guard

"Master Chief vs Scientology" is the fifth episode of season 1.


Master Chief finds himself bored after the release of Super Smash Bros. Brawl and asks the Arbiter what he thinks. After trading insults, the Arbiter says Master Chief needs structure to his life. After unsuccessfully trying to buy structure, Master Chief is recruited to Scientology (because he is told it provides structure). Master Chief spends his life savings on an E-meter. The Arbiter tells Master Chief that Scientology is a cult. Master Chief Googles it and is convinces. The group Anonymous finds Master Chief and shows him "the Unfunny Truth About Scientology," convincing him that Scientology intends to kill him. Master Chief and the Arbiter break Xenu out of his prison, and are confronted by L. Ron Hubbard, the leader of Scientology. Hubbard fights and kills Xenu and then fights Master Chief, who defeats him. After the credits, the defeated Hubbard requests help from none other than CATS.


Master Chief vs Scientology08:10

Master Chief vs Scientology



  • First appearances of the Arbiter and L. Ron Hubbard.
  • This is the first episode in which Master Chief talks with poor spelling and grammar, as he does in "Master Chief Sucks at Halo"/"Arby 'n' the Chief," the inspirations for Master Chief Sucks at Ordering.

Production notes

  • The trailer for this video did not say what the title was and only "Rickrolled" the viewer, but hints about Anonymous and Scientology were placed in the trailer.

Cultural references

  • "The Unfunny Truth About Scientology" is an actual video that depicts the various laws that Scientologists have broken to fulfill their vows. Some of the images are very graphic and disturbing, thus convincing Master Chief to leave Scientology.

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