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Tom Cruise
Tom Cruise
Portrayed by
Talkany Man
{{{AltCasting}}}
Episode count
11
Name
Thomas Cruise
Profession
Actor, Scientologist, member of the Network
Cause of death
Blown up on the Ark

Tom Cruise (July 3, 1962 - March 10, 2009) is a recurring character in the series. He is a member of the Network and the leader of Scientology after L. Ron Hubbard's death. Cruise becomes the King's second in command and is killed when the Ark explodes.

HistoryEdit

Before the seriesEdit

Tom Cruise met a time travelling Master Chief on the set of Top Gun. Master Chief, unaware Cruise had not yet joined Scientology, accidentally gave him the idea to do so. ("Master Chief Sucks at Constants")

Season 1 (2008)Edit

Tom Cruise takes over Scientology after L. Ron Hubbard's death and captures the Arbiter. ("Master Chief: The Finale")

Minisodes (2008)Edit

Cruise places child porn on Master Chief's computer to get him arrested and interrogated by Chris Hansen. ("Minisodes")

Season 2 (2008-2009)Edit

As Master Chief stages a jailbreak, he encounters Cruise, who is guarding the Arbiter. The Arbiter chooses to stay behind so he can gather information. ("Master Chief Sucks at Escaping Prison") Cruise witnesses the activation of the portal and declares it a glorious day for Scientology. ("Master Chief vs the Superweapon") He later boards the Ark and acts as the King's new right hand man after the death of Jack Thompson. ("Master Chief Sucks at Super Smash Bros.") Finally, he informs the King that Cortana disabled the Ark's laser, ruining his plan to kill the Ancients. When the Ark is subsequently destroyed, Cruise does not escape, and is killed in the explosion. ("Master Chief: The Second Finale")

Season 3 (2020)Edit

Cruise is one of the many deceased characters who wishes Master Chief luck in his final battle against the King. ("Master Chief Sucks at Everything")

The Network
Former members
The Arbiter
Deceased members
The KingCortanaJack ThompsonTom CruiseCATSThe Angry Video Game NerdChris HansenBarack ObamaL. Ron HubbardChad WardenJoe Biden
Associated characters and places
The AncientsHillary ClintonJohn McCainSarah PalinThe Ark
Characters in Master Chief Sucks at Ordering
Main
Master ChiefThe KingThe ArbiterCortanaRonald McDonaldCATSHillary Clinton
Recurring
Jack ThompsonAvery JohnsonTom CruiseThe Angry Video Game NerdChris HansenBarack Obama343 Guilty SparkL. Ron HubbardChad WardenBill GatesReggie Fils-AimeOprah WinfreyJoe BidenSteve JobsThe Voice
Minor
Samus AranMarioLinkJohn McCainAnonymousLuigiRidleyGanondorfXenuSarah Palin
Master Chief Sucks at Ordering
Episodes
Season 1MinisodesSeason 2Meet the AncientsSeason 3
Main characters
Master ChiefThe KingThe ArbiterCortanaRonald McDonaldCATSHillary Clinton
Recurring characters
Jack ThompsonAvery JohnsonTom CruiseThe Angry Video Game NerdChris HansenBarack Obama343 Guilty SparkL. Ron HubbardChad WardenBill GatesReggie Fils-AimeOprah WinfreyJoe BidenSteve JobsThe Voice
Other
UltraHyperShadowDigitalPh33rZombamazombaList of charactersTimelineBattlesTropesTrailersPostersBloopers and continuity errorsCountdown

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